A special post for those new parents.
That moment, you know the one that no one told you about. The moment of sheer panic post the birth of your new bundle of love. The one that you think “what the f$#% have I done”. It’s like the permanence of the situation actually sinks in.
It doesn't last long.
For some it only lasts a day, for some a week for some longer. Some may never experience it, many would have forgotten they did. I distinctly remember feeling this way for a day or two when Scarlett was about 6 weeks old. I remember looking at my dog and apologising to him for ever thinking he was hard 😂.
I find it most commonly happens when bub is 3-6 weeks old, the visitors are thinning, the offers of support begin to waver and it’s like your baby woke up. Suddenly this sleepy new born has become very unsettled. The consistency of parenting sinks in, sleep deprivation is beginning to take its toll and you feel life will never be the same again.
Lately I have had the pleasure of chatting to a few friends who have just had their little ones and the look on their faces has been a mix between sheer joy and utter despair.
Every Journey is Different.
BUT here’s the thing about “that moment”
There will be many of them in your parenting journey, they will all look different. As your baby gets older you will settle into your new role as a parent. Your little one will begin to interact, you will get out and about more, you will find a groove. Their tummy will mature and mark my words, their wind will settle down. Who would have thought burps and farts would bring so much joy. Soon “that moment” may be a smile or a giggle, a first crawl, a sick little one. That moment will begin to become “those moments” the ones that form the story of your life with your precious baby. The moment your little one rolled for the first time, or sleeps through the night, their first tantrum, their first word, their first poo in the bath. “That moment” will swing from great ones to more testing ones.There will be times that you think I’m done for today I can no longer parent, but you will.
The Moment Will pass.
This moment you are in now is fleeting. It will pass. Your little one will bring so much joy and love to your life and you will soon feel differently. It’s ok to feel a sense of panic or regret because nothing can prepare you for this change but in this moment take hope because it will settle. You will wonder if you will ever be the same person again, if will you ever feel like yourself again. In my experience yes and no is the best answer. You will always be different because your priorities will change, there is a greater purpose to your life now, love as you thought you knew it takes a far greater meaning. But you will find yourself again in a new capacity.
Being a parent bring so many highs and of course it’s lows but each “moment” will soon pass. So if it’s a good one savior it, if it’s a trying moment look for the good in those days and know they too shall pass.
Hang in there new parents, your not alone in your feelings.
The Gentle Sleep Specialist xo